Mother Warrior embracing being "The Leader" and "The Support team"!

We are born into this world as THE BOSS.  Our folks must cater to our every little whim.. THEN-
Bam we succeed through some 12 years of being told exactly what to do.  Wash your hands, shut the door, turn down the music, be home in an hour, do your homework.. so on and so on.

Suddenly, we are in puberty and ready to tell the BOSS what's up.  We suddenly feel that we could potentially survive in the wild without our folks so we proceed to drive them to kick us out of there homes. We have become the BOSS again.

This scenario works out to the more or lesser of extremes for most of us.

We move on to college or the professional world where we either become even more of "the boss" in the college environment .Paying rent, scheduling our lives, eating what we want etc.  Or, we take on a low paying entry level job where we are NOT "the boss".  BTW the college route only buys us a few years of being the BOSS before we get slapped across the face with entry level job AND huge student loan payments.

Finally after many years as the proverbial "Beeitch" we start to move up the ladder.. new "Beeitchs" come under you.  You start to feel stable and good. You meet a special someone and figure out WHEN each of you get to be the "BOSS" and the "Beeitch" in the relationship.

We see some many people struggle with the support role. Some are too overbearing as the Leader role.   I see many people enjoy being led, getting  lazy and let others do the dirty work all the time too. 

When I asked those who had gone before me in KOKORO what I should expect, a few people told me, "You will lead and you will follow and you will overcome together".

As I passed through those 5o some hours, I must say,

many times I was more comfortable following.  Let's face it the hot seat can really suck.  So I transfer that to life.

Leading and being the boss is hard and impossible if you don't have a great team.  Following sucks if you always think you should be the leader.  I believe the more you can enjoy both roles and the opportunity both bring, the happier you will live.

I took an amazing parenting class a year ago.  The main focus of the class was to empower your child.  Even when there is little choice in the matter it is always great to let them lead as much as possible.  This will help them grow up not feeling like they HAVE to be in control because they had NO control as a child.

For example:  My daughter Lilli HAS to go to her ballet rehearsal.  My choice for her is what would she like to do after?  Watch a little TV or stop for a Slurpee??? 

I also try and let them choose there own punishments !  They are so funny giving themselves much harsher punishment then I would have chosen .

Maybe you have gotten into a position in your job or relationship where you are stuck in the lead or as the support.  Time to switch it up.  Give the boss a chance to sit back and see what the big picture looks like while you hold the reigns.   Maybe you need to let the much deserving intern take on the big project and support their efforts.  How about your husband,wife, or partner?  Let your partner plan out the weekend .  Let your spouse schedule the kids for the week.

Here are a few of my own simple rules to LEADING and FOLLOWING( Being in the Support role).

 To Be A Great Leader
1. HAVE A PLAN.. and a good one.
2. Make sure it suits as many teamates as possible.. this can be challenging.
3. Stay in charge and don't give up 
4. Be ready to change the plans/course of action... have a plan B.
5.  Always remain calm and positive.

To Be A Great Support
1. Support the Journey and Leader with positivity!
2. Be Grateful!
3.  Be Ready to take the lead at your leaders request.
4. Enjoy the ride using this time to formulate your plans for when it's your time to lead.
4. Trust your leader has your best intentions.


Remember, it takes a great deal of stress to lead all the time and be in charge.  You are always responsible for the outcome of EVERYTHING> everyone needs the opportunity to sit back and smell the flowers and experience trust in another judgement.
Also Remember how easy it is to follow all the time, no stress, no responsibility but you are also dependant on another all the time.. can be scary.

Go on out there and appreciate your leaders and your team. 

Mother Warrior